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Our friends for over two decades, who has overcome several obstacles, and I respect her for that. However, she has been often caught off guard in relationships. Her partner walked away, which came as a massive blow. Many of her social circle disappeared then, because they seemed drawn to her husband. It shocked her. She put in greater energy in our friendship, likely grasped better the meaning of companionship.

A Recurring Theme In Relationships

In the time since, many in her circle have disappeared and she isn't sure why. Her last employer suddenly changed toward her, although she was very skilled at her work, she departed not understanding why things shifted.

Present Situation

In recent times, we've both stepped back from work so we're spending each other more, yet I realize my position between us is to listen. I start subjects only for her to redirect them to what interests her. In terms of politics, she holds unyielding views. I attempt to recommend verifying facts and different perspectives.

She has been planning a holiday abroad I know well on several occasions and resided in for some time. I attempted to share insights, however, my input unappreciated. She purely solely sought validation of her plans. I have come back from four weeks in that place she is eager to reconnect, however, I hesitate.

Weighing the Options

I am unwilling in this role who abandons suddenly abruptly, however, I feel she'll truly comprehend the consequences of her actions on how I feel about myself. At this point, I find myself in distancing myself. How should I proceed?

Potential Solutions

You could walk away, yet this is not often the easy answer we hope for. However, addressing it with the goal of working things out demands strength and openness from both people.

Therapists recommend trying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"Step one is to state what typically happens during your discussions. It should be based on facts like exactly what occurs. The second is to express her how it affects you emotionally. There should be no disagreement about this. Emotions are valid, after all. Finally involves requesting how you are both going to change the interaction between you."

Remember she too has her own side, thus requiring you to stay open to acknowledge it. A helpful technique is to say to the other person:

"Please share your thoughts while I will remain silent for 30 minutes."

It's wildly successful to encourage mutual respect.

Final Thoughts

Your friend may dismiss all you say, for those who hold onto a deep-seated story: they rely on a story of their life they're unable to release as it feels essential is tied to it and it's all they've known. This poses a challenge as there is no easy route in such cases, just dead ends. Yet she could initially present this way before reflecting on your words. And should you never reach a fix, you'll have satisfaction knowing you were open and direct.